Lost
by AVP and JMT
Summary: H/G. A songfic. Ginny, who barely cries, finds herself sitting on the floor with tears spilling out her eyes after Harry left. Will she learn how to cope with it, or will she be miserable til the end. Song: All around me by flyleaf. One shot. Please R


**A/N This one is only by Joely not me... So yeah!**

**-Amanda**

_My hands are searching for you  
My arms are outstretched towards you  
I feel you on my fingertips  
My tongue dances behind my lips for you_

Harry. That's all she thought about ever since she first saw him at platform 9 3/4. At the time, the thought of him would bring butterflies to her stomach, now all it brought was pain and more pain. He left. Nothing else exists but that fact. He told her he was coming back for her, but he was going against Voldemort, what if she loses him? Will she lose herself, too? She brushed the thought aside, though it did not take long to resurface. Harry...

_This fire rising through my being  
Burning I'm not used to seeing you  
I'm alive, I'm alive_

It felt like it was just yesterday, yet at the same time it felt so long ago. The first time they kissed. That's something she will never forget, no matter how much she wanted to. The victory of Gryffindor winning was nothing compared to the sensation of his lips, it was like they were meant to be together, always. She remembered how his lips, soft, brushed against hers and moved in symphony with hers. Something she will never forget.

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

The pain. It was something she's never experienced before. It was worse than any physical pain, it was something beyond what she could explain. It was like he left and took a piece of her heart with him. Sometimes the pain overwhelms her and she finds it difficult to breathe, she finds herself crying silent tears that seem like they are never going to run dry. Difficult to keep on living through the days. She knows he did it for the best, but it hurts her more because of that, she doesn't know why, sometimes she thinks it would have been better if they never started dating in the first place. Then she thinks it through and realizes that the little moments she had with him were the best moments of her life, without him she was nothing.

_My hands float up above me  
And you whisper you love me  
And I begin to fade  
Into our secret place_

Suddenly, it was like a wave of emotions flooded through her as she relived the stolen times when they sneaked to a secluded corner in Hogwarts. Hogwarts. It's not the same without him, nothing is the same no more. She remembered when they used to just talk for hours no end, they talked about anything and everything. A violent tremble shook her and pulled her out of her reverie. "Ginny, it's dinner time." she heard a voice far away. She didn't care, she wasn't hungry, she never was ever since _he _left she only ate so that people won't bother her. She was like the living dead people told her, she didn't disagree.

_The music makes me sway  
The angels singing say we are alone with you  
I am alone and they are too with you_  
_I'm alive, I'm alive_

Loneliness is something she's always feared, and now its greater than any other time. She remembered his brilliant green eyes that would always pull her in, and she loved it. It felt like he was there with her, she went to hug him when all she felt where her arms. He's gone. This time she couldn't keep quiet, the tears and sobs overtook her and she was shaking violently. She sat down in a corner with her arms around her knees trying to forget about everything, forget about _him. _It was no good, she would never forget him, even after she's dead she would remember him and love him always.

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

She considered committing suicide, but wasn't able to go through with it. What if he comes back? What if he finds her dead due to her own hands? She couldn't do it. He loves her, and she knows it, but she's not sure if the love he has for her is half the size of the love she has for him. The thought of him loving her was what gave her the strength to get up and make her way to the bathroom, looking at the floor. She arrived at the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, she didn't recognize herself. Her once beautiful face was now distorted with pain. A pain that will never completely heal. Pain because of _him_. Because of Harry Potter...

_And so I cry  
The light is white  
And I see you  
I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive_

She sat herself down with her back against the door, she laid her head against the door and closed her eyes. Automatically his face was behind her eyelids. She stayed like that for a few minutes savoring it while it lasted until it faded away and the pain came back worse than ever. Why her? she asked herself over and over. It was unbearable, she couldn't take it no more, but she had to for his sake and hers, she had to push on and keep living even if she was already dead on the inside. She had to. And she would. For him.

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

She sat motionless as, once again, she relived the memories. She heard his chuckle that she so much loved, it was a sound of peace, love and happiness. It was a sound she would give everything to hear again; his laugh. A small smile spread across her face, surprising her. It was the result of hearing his laugh, even though it was just a faded memory and she knows that it doesn't do it justice. As she sat, still, she realized that there was something wrong, she had the urge to cry but no tears were coming out. She had finally ran dry of tears.

_Take my hand  
I give it to you  
Now you own me  
All I am  
You said you would never leave me  
I believe you  
I believe_

She belongs to him as he belongs to her, she knew that very well. "I love you, Ginny" she remembered him telling her before he left. Yes, he loved her. She wondered if he was thinking about her the way she was about him, something told her that he was. She got up and, once again, looked at herself in the mirror and saw a new light where her dark mask of misery was. She had to do something and she knew, now, what it was. She was going to act like nothing was wrong, though, something was wrong. She washed her face and toweled it dry, then made her way downstairs to where her family was eating dinner. She sat down and looked into each of their eyes. She had to be strong in this time of war. She had to be strong for them, for herself; for him. She was going to be strong for Harry James Potter.

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_


End file.
